Sunday, 11 May 2014

Post 16... a complete boob or how about two...?!

Hello everyone!!!
how are you going..?
I am good. Busy as a bitch but I'm good.
I have been doing fast track nursing at university.
it keeps me so busy. It's a new venture I'm exploring. A new career for me.
Any career for me would be amazing really... so I chose this. I don't even really remember why!
oh yes I do.. I want to be a midwife.
Some people might think that's crazy. who wants to stare at women's vaginas IN action..? I do. but in all honesty... it's not about the vagina. To me... it about the woman and the baby. Helping a woman do something extraordinary whilst she is at her must vulnerable. I want to be her voice, her friend, her confidant, and her health professional. It's an amazing time in a woman's life! who wouldn't want to be there..? In saying that I know that it will be hard at times... like REALLY hard. babies may die... Mothers may die... but I want to be there to make sure I did everything possible to help everything go smoothly.
WOWSER... this post is so serious and grown up...
well do not fear... I am about to tell you what else I have been up to lately...
SNAP CHAT. have you heard of it..? its's an app. (if you don't know what an app is... please take a moment to get your palm... outstretch it in front of your face.... now with a flicking action hit yourself in the face with your palm.. this is a face palm. it coincides with acts of complete and utter stupidity of daftness. GET EDUCATED. google 'app'). Snapchat is an app where you can take a pic and send it to someone and it only last for a maximum of 10 seconds.... Unless like me you add it to your 'story' where it lasts for 24 hrs and viewers can view it multiple times....! (fucking fail alert...)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAnyway... I am a good wife. I try my hardest to keep the flame alive... admittedly I don't have to try very hard with randy andy about..." example: I was wearing my sheep onesie to bed. I got REALLY hot and unzipped the front whilst half asleep. Andy woke up later in the night, went to the loo and upon returning saw a boob out.... this was all he needed to accost me in my sheep onesie....! I had no chance. No escape. He had seen the prize..."
So back on the tale of the chats with the snaps... I try to keep it interesting by sending him naked pics of myself... well my boobs and some times my buns... just because he likes them... and I like him. It's obvious. It works. It's hilarious seeing us trying to 'do' modern sexy. He sent me an amazing one of himself at Christmas time..! He was naked and tanned on the boat with 3 crayfish after going diving and my stupid drunk hand was too slow to screen shot it! he looked like something out of a magic mike movie!!!!!!!!!!! ANYWAY... totally off topic...
So today... I decided to snap chat de boobies in their glory in the shower and send them to andy.... Turns out... with the new update of snapchat the buttons are different... they did have some tutorial video... but who needs that I hear you scoff...?!?! ME. I NEED IT. I NEEDED IT TODAY MORE THAN EVER.
Because...I successfully sent a picture of my titties and my naked self in the shower to 250 people.
HAPPY FUCKING MONDAY TO YOU FINE SIRS! AND LADIES...! AND ANYONE ELSE WITH A SNAP CHAT!
Best part was... I didn't even know I'd done it until I received two replies back.. one saying I'd made their day... the other saying any more than one boob is being rude or cheeky or I don't even remember because it was at that very pivotal moment I had realised what I had done and I started to get that pinging sound in the ears... like after a large explosion... my hands got all sweaty and I was short of breath...!
I tried to delete it but couldn't work it out...! I was naked... well I had my towel on and wet hands... and a shower cap... because I'm SO sexy.... and I called Andy as fast as I could! I seriously wanted to die. edit undo was no where to found!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! each precious second it was there was another second more people were able to see my boobies!!! MY boobies! they belong to me and Andy...! Speaking of which... he answered. And then...
He laughed... and laughed and laughed... and when he finished laughing... laughed some more.
He told me to google it... so I ran to my computer...nearly breaking my neck because my feet were wet.
I clicked on google chrome and NOTHING. the bastard wouldn't load... my computer was FROZEN!!!!
FUCK!
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCKKKKK! what a disaster!!!! it was at this point I think Andy felt a bit sorry for me so he looked up how to do it on his phone because I was in such a flap. he told me how to do it.. which made NO sense! so he tried again and read it out slowly and finally on my third try of understanding this flaming app... IT WAS GONE!
BOOBIES DOWN....I REPEAT..... BOOBIES DOWN! omg... talk about stressful!!!
However... Andy then took it upon himself to text me and say (insert bogan voice) 'show us ya tits!!'
Not hilarious. Not even remotely. But knowing me... I decided to laugh at myself and my boobie blunder because if I didn't I would most certainly cry...!
I posted an apology on fb... and it has taken off like wild fire. I'm also happy people can laugh with me (most likely at me) and my mistakes! I'm certainly going to take snap chat easy for a while...!!!
I'm too scared to go there again! :p
have a great life till we are conversing again :D
yay... LIFE. I'm clearly winning at it!